Kay Posted November 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 I was thinking about this a lot yesterday and I really am not sure where I fall. What he did was disgusting - no question. He doesn't deserve forgiveness, and the effect he's probably had on that womans life is irreversible. I do not want to defend his actions. But his statement does leave me feeling less damning then others in the current climate and thats specifically because he talks about the addiction and the steps to overcome it in the past tense. it isn't "whoops I've been caught, oh I have a problem, I'm going to therapy" It was this - Quote Years ago, after admitting my habits and cheating to my then soon to be wife, I began to approach my problem in a serious way. I entered professional treatment, both in group therapy and individual counseling, and revealed the realities of what a terrible place I had gotten to in my life, and what a terrible impact my actions had on people. the fact that he saw his own problems and mistakes and took steps on his own to address them without a scandal at the time makes me slightly less nutso and angry. it doesn't undo what he's done, or unhurt anyone, but it's a level of self awareness and regret that I have not really seen from other scandals that are currently lit up. Coupled with the fact that there is definitely a lyrical tonal change in Jesse, as the years went on. It seems like there's a lot more self loathing in BNs later work than their earlier stuff, which tends to have more problematic imagery too (Me vs Maradonna, being the most obvious example, but not the only one). I don't forgive him, I'm not comfortable necessarily with what's happened and like I said before - I'm not shocked, it makes a lot of sense but if he genuinely had a problem and was in a position with adoring fans and access to people willing to do whatever as well as lots of drugs and alcohol then it makes some sort of logical process to me as to how he ended up in that position. That doesn't make it okay, or right, or justified - it just makes it somewhat understandable (factually, not morally). The fact that I can see how he could get there makes me less aggravated. it mostly just makes me sad. but I can listen to BN without being upset by it, surprisingly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott. Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 Did the 15 year old girl say she was 15? These days you can never tell. When my brother was 15 his girl mates all look easily 19/20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low Value Boy Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 18 minutes ago, Scott. said: When my brother was 15 his girl mates all look easily 19/20 Did you find that out the hard way mate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott. Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 Noooooooo. Just saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheerios4u98 Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 I'm starting to question if every famous person I've ever admired is a complete shithead. I've just recently become a fan of this band. It took me years, but I finally got into them. Mostly their old stuff, but some of their other stuff too from time to time. I don't know how much I'll be able to enjoy them anymore. This is gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisa Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 Now I know what it's like to feel biased and I was waiting to comment on this fact because it really messed me up. Don't judge me but I'd like to think people were only shitty for a period of time then they grew up eventually and realised how awful they were and made great attempts to change as everyone should do. As I would do and as I think Jesse did in the past 7/8 years when it looks like he has changed for the better. This mindset helps me feel okay even if it's incredibly naive. At the same time I feel terribile for the victims and I hope they'll find a way to get better and I hope he pays for his actions because I'm sure there's more to it than just what came out. I don't know what a simple apology and acknowledgement would do to them but it's better than nothing. Or even the fact that he has worked on his problem in private before everything came out. I also feel bad for Jesse's daughter cause when she grows up she will read comments from the people who compare her father to a paedophile or a rapist when he's not. It's a shitty situation but I hope the parents will do their best to protect the child from the horrible things we've been reading online. My only wish is that with all this coming together and people becoming aware, more and more people learn from this and strive to be better than their idols and to be good people. Still naive but that's what I think. This one hits very hard but it wasn't a real surprise and it won't change a thing about I feel about the songs. As far as I can remember, I haven't seen a single brand new interview or spent time reading about the members' lives. Brand New has always been about the music and my relationship with it, how I understand the songs and what they mean to me and it won't change. Call me hypocrite but I just can't stop listening to this band. Even though it will never be the same. So sad that they're going out this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low Value Boy Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 TELL ALL THE ENGLISH BOYS YOU MEET, THERE'S AN AMERICAN BOY BACK IN THE STATES. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Posted November 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 1 hour ago, Cheerios4u98 said: I'm starting to question if every famous person I've ever admired is a complete shithead. I've just recently become a fan of this band. It took me years, but I finally got into them. Mostly their old stuff, but some of their other stuff too from time to time. I don't know how much I'll be able to enjoy them anymore. This is gross. To be honest, some of the most famous influential musicians are total assholes or massively messed up. I mean hell, just look at John Lennon, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley... I'm seeing it more like 'actually it turns out all humans are awful. all of them. no one is safe, don't go outside and don't talk to anyone'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisa Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 A lot of people are going to have to stop listening to music altogether if this proves to be enough of a reason to quit listening to the songs. Ignorance is bliss I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Kyle_ Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 As I've said, Bowie slept with 14 year olds. It's hard to get around these facts, but Jesse Lacey's multiple victims strike me as something far more sinister than a guy with a just a simple sex addiction. He liked fucking with young women and frankly that's hard to compartmentalize given his lyrics and persona. That doesn't negate the fact BN is a great band, but it does diminish the respect I had for Lacey and the work as a whole. Also this probably explains why those rumors of him breaking up the touring guitarists marriage are probably true. Fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Posted November 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 Wait, multiple women? I only read about that 15 year old over skype. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low Value Boy Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 Is Jesse packing? I always imagined him having a tiny little pecker tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Kyle_ Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 42 minutes ago, Kay said: Wait, multiple women? I only read about that 15 year old over skype. http://www.brooklynvegan.com/brand-news-jesse-lacey-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-multiple-stories-surfacing/ I just read one last night https://notyourlivejournal.wordpress.com/2017/11/12/i-thought-i-was-the-one-i-was-merely-another-one/ He seems to be a fucking headcase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Kyle_ Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 What's alarming, and I had even forgot about reading it, is that Jesse Lacey went to school to be a child psychologist and wanted to possibly be a teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 3 hours ago, ...Dan... said: TELL ALL THE ENGLISH BOYS YOU MEET, THERE'S AN AMERICAN BOY BACK IN THE STATES. What was that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vic vinegar Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 21 hours ago, ungroovy said: That's actually really true and super important to hear. It hadn't occurred to me that that was the case. It's hard for me to reconcile because I know that I myself would never do the things now that I did in addiction. In some people's eyes, the things I did would probably be comparable. Nothing likened to exploitation of a minor, but very shitty. I know for a fact that I'm not that person right now. For now I feel super resentful if this is true. You wrote these songs while you were doing these things, and millions of people allowed that to permeate and help them get through shitty times. It feels like a weird betrayal. I don't wanna hear it right now, really. I didn't pay enough attention to recognize that he was actually a shitty dude doing shitty things outside of his musical self-loathing, even if THIS particular situation isn't true he was still doing a lot of shit, beyond the feud with TBS that was just nutty to me. That being said, I still believe that songs like Me vs Maradona were narrative in their content. I don't believe even with this allegation that he wrote about a true-to-life situation. I would assume it involves the way he felt he was as a person, as it seems that he was a manipulative and shitty person, but not his actual actions taken. It's just horribly uncomfortable now that he wrote that song and songs like it. Yeah it's pretty odd. I get what you mean about addiction. I probably did some unsavory shit when I got black-out drunk when I was younger. I don't really drink anymore outside of the occasional social drink and even then only if I'm done driving for the day. But I think Jesse wasn't super drunk every time he requested shit from minors online. I don't know him or his drug history or addictions to do anything more than speculate, but I truly feel that this was a guy using his clout in the band to manipulate younger fans to do his bidding and because this shit was quite common during the MySpace age it just went unnoticed. But I agree that it's tough separating the music from the artist. Louis CK suddenly doesn't look so funny with his dirty jokes he made all his $ off of. I wasn't the biggest Brand New fan but the damage seems to be done. Like if it came out that Tom was going around forcing himself on the neighborhood dogs, Fuck a Dog suddenly has different context. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radioactive tomdog Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 literally every girl who gives me shit for still liking roman polanski's films is being a hypocrite by still liking this band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melty Mark Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 1 minute ago, Kevin. said: literally every girl who gives me shit for still liking roman polanski's films is being a hypocrite by still liking this band I said it on fb, but everyone posted so much shit based on one or two word of mouth allegations half the time, and condemned so many people, but then put their lawyer caps on for Jesse Lacey's time to shine. He's nasty, folks. Further, when all these people I know absolutely wreck shitty artists in the NC music scene based on similar accusations, sometimes just one single allegation, and then they want to talk about both sides of this issue because it's a decent band and Jesse Lacey... Go fuck yourselves. I am comfortable with my own assessment, and it's the same assessment I'd have of anyone else. If a whole floodgate of women are saying you did some stupid shit, it's probably true, but I am not the arbiter of justice nor a court of law under any circumstance. It's all just my stupid opinion. Whether or not I can deal with what they did is my own deal, and whether or not other people can do the same is NOT my shit to deal with. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Kyle_ Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 23 minutes ago, Kevin. said: literally every girl who gives me shit for still liking roman polanski's films is being a hypocrite by still liking this band hey man, we all have wooden nails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melty Mark Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 I saw someone say this and it made me sad. "Looks like the Devil won" AHHHHHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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