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Speedo

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Status Updates posted by Speedo

  1. My guts are bubbling hard today … future is looking pretty fucking bleak right now.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Ghent

      Ghent

      Tablespoons mixed with water

    3. Speedo

      Speedo

      I started last night, feeling a little bloated today but not bad. I assume that’ll go away once my system gets better.

    4. Ghent

      Ghent

      Took me a couple weeks to adjust. The diarrhea started to cluster into orange metamucil clumps, like a metamorphosis into a real turd  lol

  2. And then we will set up a sting operation to catch you!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Good one, retard.

    3. Feeling_This_1

      Feeling_This_1

      I don't feel safe with this cyber stalking. You should be banned from the sections I'm allowed in, so we will never cross paths

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      Thanks for clearing that up for us lol

  3. Today I gambled on a fart and lost.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      It's shit, alright!

    3. Russel Coight

      Russel Coight

      Clean yourself up, you’ll be right! No need to get down in the dumps about it.

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      Hahahah! You win, you glorious son of a bitch!

  4. If a new song drops in the next 24 hours, I’ll post a picture of my testicles.

  5. Cunt.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Where’s the cunt?

    3. Russel Coight

      Russel Coight

      Why are you so bad at this?

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner” and “where’s the beef?” were famous slogans here in the 80s. It’s a play on those. I’m not bad at anything, I’m an artist, you uncultured swine!

  6. Raycon earbuds suck dick.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Are you talking directly to me or is this a sort of general wisdom you're sharing?

    3. Jan Backing Track

      Jan Backing Track

      General wisdom in which you should be following frequently.

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      Appreciate you.

  7. To be or not to be?

    1. Jan Backing Track
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Why? Because of Hamlet? You're being weird tonight, Jan.

    3. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      Bee movie ! 

  8. You've never seen your neighbors take a dump. Boom, Matrix.

    1. Jan Backing Track

      Jan Backing Track

      Seems like the realization about the groceries really got to you? Din't it?

    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      This was a month ago, Jan. Get yourself together, you fucking embarrassment.

    3. Jan Backing Track
  9. We said “don’t let the door hit your ass”!

    1. _Bagel
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Relax, guy. It’ll be fine.

  10. At his trial, the judge asked @Feeling_This_1 "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" He replied “Sexy.”

    1. Feeling_This_1

      Feeling_This_1

      O great you bought another pedophile joke book! The only one here who's been in court, is you

    2. Speedo
  11. Of course you'd pick the profile with the 12 year old girl in the photo.

    1. Feeling_This_1

      Feeling_This_1

      I assumed it was a man based on the epic name ..she looks like an old hag in the pic though. 

    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Wow! So, 12 is too old for you?

  12. Wouldn't you like to know?

    1. Ghent

      Ghent

      Yes I'd like to know why you texted Clarke's girlfriend

    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      I'd like to know how I got her number first!

  13. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. 

  14. Royal the Fuck Family!

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      You should never fuck your family ! Good rule to live by 

  15. My loneliness is killing me ...

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      It's Britney bitch!!!

  16. Stop gaslighting my nuance!

    1. Meltdown Tracker

      Meltdown Tracker

      My nuanced strawman just got gaslight :( 

  17. We've been eating too much fast food lately, my body is revolting. 

    1. Speedo

      Speedo

      My body is both fighting against my shitty diet and gross to look at.

  18. David Kennedy is the type of guy to have Depf as a fan.

    1. Jan Backing Track

      Jan Backing Track

      3/3,127 this year, good job.

  19. I was thinking of getting a bagel this morning.

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      I approve this message. Lather that thing in Lurpak!

  20. I'll take you out for breakfast at night and then we'll go to sleep.

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      I knew you would back that

  21. I'm not into yoga and I have half a brain!

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      Now I can't be too cool in a sand-dune with my pants down

      Speedo's big and I've never seen his face 

  22. Do you still live in angry days?

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      Can you grow out of senseless hate?...Senseless hate

      *sexy Chris flippin riff ensues

  23. Congratulations, Oliver!

  24. Jan, you're overdoing that joke. 

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