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Speedo

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Status Updates posted by Speedo

  1. Speedo

    What percentage of the planet has some amount of semen on it? It’s definitely not zero.

  2. Speedo

    Giraffes are tall.

    Turtles are gay.

    Come to Burger King and have it your way.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      It was a poem and I spoke from the heart you son of a bitch!

    3. Speedo

      Speedo

      Also, nice haiku.

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      ^sarcasm

      your haiku sucks

  3. Speedo

    Can y’all quit this competition please? I’m tired of jerking off alone.

  4. Speedo

    All you mods can d my a.

  5. Speedo

    Thanks to @Speedo for being sexy and a good listener.

  6. Speedo

    If a new song drops in the next 24 hours, I’ll post a picture of my testicles.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Bucko

      Bucko

      Just do it anyway

    3. Ghent

      Ghent

      Hype Level 10 for your sack

    4. Russel Coight

      Russel Coight

      Coward

  7. Speedo

    Cunt.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Where’s the cunt?

    3. Russel Coight

      Russel Coight

      Why are you so bad at this?

    4. Speedo

      Speedo

      “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner” and “where’s the beef?” were famous slogans here in the 80s. It’s a play on those. I’m not bad at anything, I’m an artist, you uncultured swine!

  8. Speedo

    Enchilada verdes isn’t sitting so well tonight, guys.

  9. Speedo

    Stop gaslighting my nuance!

    1. Fun, Catchy Pop-Punk

      Fun, Catchy Pop-Punk

      My nuanced strawman just got gaslight :( 

  10. Speedo

    Pickles.

  11. Speedo

    My guts are bubbling hard today … future is looking pretty fucking bleak right now.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Ghent

      Ghent

      Tablespoons mixed with water

    3. Speedo

      Speedo

      I started last night, feeling a little bloated today but not bad. I assume that’ll go away once my system gets better.

    4. Ghent

      Ghent

      Took me a couple weeks to adjust. The diarrhea started to cluster into orange metamucil clumps, like a metamorphosis into a real turd  lol

  12. Speedo

    We said “don’t let the door hit your ass”!

    1. _Bagel

      _Bagel

      Bye bro

    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      Relax, guy. It’ll be fine.

  13. Speedo

    I have the weirdest gas this afternoon. My butthole is speaking in tongues.

  14. Speedo

    Ghost fart.

  15. Speedo

    It means culture has gone to shit.

  16. Speedo

    CHIEFS!!!

  17. Speedo

    Let’s fucking go!

  18. Speedo

    Wubba Lubba dub dub, bitches.

  19. Speedo

    Congratulations, Oliver!

  20. Speedo

    It’s a beautiful day.

  21. Speedo

    You've never seen your neighbors take a dump. Boom, Matrix.

    1. Commander_Jan

      Commander_Jan

      Seems like the realization about the groceries really got to you? Din't it?

    2. Speedo

      Speedo

      This was a month ago, Jan. Get yourself together, you fucking embarrassment.

    3. Commander_Jan

      Commander_Jan

      Milk.

  22. Speedo

    Happy May 16th!!!

  23. Speedo

    Day 2 after food poisoning and I’m still afraid to fart.

  24. Speedo

    https://youtu.be/zNWQvhSUbro

  25. Speedo


    Nah, this one.

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