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Status Updates posted by Speedo

  1. Can y’all quit this competition please? I’m tired of jerking off alone.

  2. All you mods can d my a.

  3. Thanks to @Speedo for being sexy and a good listener.

  4. If a new song drops in the next 24 hours, I’ll post a picture of my testicles.

  5. Cunt.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Speedo


      Where’s the cunt?

    3. Russel Coight

      Russel Coight

      Why are you so bad at this?

    4. Speedo


      “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner” and “where’s the beef?” were famous slogans here in the 80s. It’s a play on those. I’m not bad at anything, I’m an artist, you uncultured swine!

  6. Enchilada verdes isn’t sitting so well tonight, guys.

  7. Stop gaslighting my nuance!

    1. Meltdown Tracker

      Meltdown Tracker

      My nuanced strawman just got gaslight :( 

  8. My guts are bubbling hard today … future is looking pretty fucking bleak right now.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Ghent


      Tablespoons mixed with water

    3. Speedo


      I started last night, feeling a little bloated today but not bad. I assume that’ll go away once my system gets better.

    4. Ghent


      Took me a couple weeks to adjust. The diarrhea started to cluster into orange metamucil clumps, like a metamorphosis into a real turd  lol

  9. We said “don’t let the door hit your ass”!

    1. _Bagel
    2. Speedo


      Relax, guy. It’ll be fine.

  10. I have the weirdest gas this afternoon. My butthole is speaking in tongues.

  11. It means culture has gone to shit.

  12. Let’s fucking go!

  13. Wubba Lubba dub dub, bitches.

  14. Congratulations, Oliver!

  15. It’s a beautiful day.

  16. You've never seen your neighbors take a dump. Boom, Matrix.

    1. Midwest Wankers

      Midwest Wankers

      Seems like the realization about the groceries really got to you? Din't it?

    2. Speedo


      This was a month ago, Jan. Get yourself together, you fucking embarrassment.

    3. Midwest Wankers
  17. Happy May 16th!!!

  18. Day 2 after food poisoning and I’m still afraid to fart.

  19. You guys remember that refrigerator raider commercial? 

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